I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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