just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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