just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
