butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
