Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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