I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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