Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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