Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize