I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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