I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize