just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
