Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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