I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
