Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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