SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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