why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
