I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
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