remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
