i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The Olympian is in my bed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
