I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize