Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
