I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
