Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its not stalking. its research.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
