How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it glows. i had to have it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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