I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
