how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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