I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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