I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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