At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
