"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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