it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
