we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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