when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
