I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My hand turned me down
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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