Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize