we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
