my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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