I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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