I look better un-naked...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
