best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
