Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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