you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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