blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
