yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
