its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
