I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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