I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
