My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
