she was so not down for the gang bang
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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