No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
