Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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