I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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