I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize