Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
