I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
