Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
